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Nukie

Synopsis:

Two alien brothers land on earth on two separate continents. Miko landed in the USA and is promptly captured by The Space Federation, where he is supposedly tortured and experimented upon. Nukie lands in Africa and he (and the viewer) is haunted by Miko's cries. Will Nukie save his brother? 

The Review:

Ugh, this is a bad movie. Very, VERY, B-A-D!!! It's also extremely funny because of it. The scientists that have captured Miko have really stupid lines. They discover that Miko is an energy being with no organs, yet it has a heart-beat and brainwave. Not to mention that it can be drugged. When Miko and Nukie were flying, they were balls of light, which seems to support the American's theory, but everything they do to Miko disproves it.

Nukie is in Africa trying to find his brother. He does this by randomly scaring animals. Eventually, he finds some talking apes and monkeys and they send him to see their cousin, Charlie, a chimp at a local village.

We keep switching back and forth between Nukie's predicament and his brother's. Days pass and I started going insane with the stupid transitions. One minute we're here and the next we're half way around the world. And why is it almost always day in both places!?

Somehow the American's know Nukie's name, but not Miko's, the one they've captured. You see "N.U.K.I.E." in caps on their computer screens. Very STUPID! We soon learn that the lead scientist is a jerk who likes to inject drugs and do other nasty tests on one of the ugliest aliens I've ever seen.

Nukie eventually finds Charlie and has a very strange conversation with it. (They talk about candy.) He also makes friends with a couple of native twins that look to be about 10. Why they have anything to do with this ugly creature is beyond my ability to comprehend. Not only is it butt-ugly, but it seems to constantly have nasal drainage.

This movie is very difficult to describe as it doesn't really follow a linear storyline. We're constantly jumping here and there and the days start to blur together. Also you end up not caring for ANY of the characters...instead you wonder what kind of acid trip these people were going through to make this show.  Let's just talk about some highlights, shall we?

1) Nukie discovers some water and looks in it. What does he have to say for himself? "This is my body." This statement is obviously very enlightened. Nukie doesn't even know what he looks like...how will he ever recognize his brother?

2) Sister Anne is a nun in this village. The Space Foundation sent a scientist there to find Nukie and she is constantly telling him lies to get rid of him. It's very hard to figure out why she loathes new-comers, but you can kind of piece together the lame idea that she thinks new people will come along and ruin the village. 

3) Why is it that both Nukie and Miko have to sleep ALL the time??? They're energy beings!!!

4) Nukie has tons of powers. He inexplicably causes earthquakes, blows up vases/jars, and has the entire village chase him around the scrubland (in fast-forward, no less!). He can also possess vehicles...and transport himself at will, ala Nightcrawler from X-Men.

5) You would think that since Nukie can fly, he'd just fly to his brother. Instead, he steals a helicopter and flies it around the village before crashing it and replacing his body with that of a couple of chickens.

6) Miko programs a computer to be his friend after the computer hypnotizes him. The computer then falls in love with one of the women scientists and tells another one to become a clown. Finally, it tells the bad lady scientist quote "you know what: You suck!"

7) Miko can view anyone anywhere on the planet with the EDDI, the computer, as is evidenced by the fact that he spots one of the African boys. He has a chat with him too by talking into a microphone that's on the PC. 

The list goes on forever. Nukie never does rescue his brother. Instead, he dies. One of the African boys makes a wish on a star (since Nukie told him that one could) and wishes his brother would find him, Nukie would get better, and Miko and Nukie would find one another. Poof! They do!

The Good Stuff:

The Bad Stuff:

I just can't describe all that's wrong with this show. It's just plain awful. It's also funny because it's so poorly made (which is the only reason I enjoyed it at all). If you are into truly awful cinema, then you don't want to miss this movie. Just be sure to have others there to help you get through it!