The Ultimate Teacher
Subtitled Version
Released: 1988
Version: Video
AKA: Scary Bionic Man: The Ultimate Teacher.
Rated: <Unknown>
Length: Approx. 60 minutes
Main Cast: Naoto Takenaka, Hiroko Kasahara, Yusaku Yara, Ichiro Nagai, Shinya Otaki.
Whoa! What a piece of anime!!!! If you’re looking for bizarre humor, then this movie is for you!
We begin with some weird huge guy escaping a lab. This fellow skitters along walls sideways, but he doesn’t really climb them. His name is Chabane Ganpachi (or something like that) and he stops a girl and asks directions to a school. The school happens to be one of the toughest schools in all of Japan and he wants to be a teacher there. We watch him chat with the principal and tell him that he’s "the ultimate teacher." The principal is a blubbery fool.
Anyway, they go to the toughest classroom and watch the kids try to off them both. Ganpachi gets a pile of kids on him and he then kicks their collective butt. Then the girl (AKA Shiratori Hinoko) he got directions from comes in and states that she’s the gang boss and promptly kicks Gachpachi out the third story window. He survives and comes back to take control. He embarrasses Hinoko by taking her skirt off and showing the class her "Lucky Kitty Gym Shorts." She leaves in defeat!
Later on she returns and we watch a group of oddballs wearing "Lucky Kitty Gym Shorts" come up to Hinoko and shake their hips at her. She runs through them screaming…
Basically, we go through various scenes in which underwear is the most powerful object. We see a jerk try to hack off Ganpachi’s shorts so as to make his lower half bear, but no matter how many chops the kid does, Ganpachi has more underwear underneath! DUH!
Also, Hinoko shows off some normal undies to scare the fools show like to shake themselves at her. Later on we learn that her Kitty shorts help her feel less self-conscious and thus, stronger. Eventually we have a guy from the lab that produced Ganpachi come along. He helps Hinoko defeat Ganpachi. When he shows up, he explains that Ganpachi is a genetic experiment and that he’s half-cockroach. He also says that he himself is half-spider.
The Good Stuff:
 | It has some funny scenes in it… |
| Hinoko is kawaii!!! |
| That’s it!!!!!!!! |
The Bad Stuff:
| Swearing and lots of it…not as much as a sitcom, though… |
| There’s some nudity and lots of underwear scenes!!! |
| There’s some nasty violence and blood… |
This movie/anime is weird. I personally don’t recommend it. If you’re a hardcore anime fan, then go for it; otherwise, steer clear.
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