Lilo & Stitch
Released: 2002
Version: video
Length: Approx. 85 minutes
Rated: PG
Main Cast: Daveigh Chase, Tia Carrere, Ving Rhames, David Ogden Stiers, Jason Scott Lee, Kevin McDonald (I), Amy Hill, Jennifer Darling
It's been quite some time since my last Disney review. But here goes:
This is one of the few Disney movies that's not based on a book or legend. It has a fairly interesting plot, but it has a lot of plot holes. Of course, I suppose that could be said about most children's flicks, but I still think plot holes in ANY show is just poor writing.
The story goes something like this: We begin in a council room with lots of odd looking creatures (ala Star Wars: Episode 1). They are there to discuss Dr. Jumba's (David Ogden Stiers) illegal genetic experiments. The primary one in question is 'Genetic Experiment 626' (Chris Sanders [III]). Jumba is thrown in prison and 626 is taken away to be (presumably) destroyed because he said some nonsense words to the Grand Councilwoman (Zoe Caldwell [I]) and shook his booty wrong.
626 is stuck upside down in some kind of clamp. Then they stick a needle into his neck and suck some blood out. Finally, they load the gun's computer's with 626's blood. This is done so that the guns will only target 626. Now I must digress at this point. Being a children's story, why did they use a big needle on 626? Surely such an advanced civilization would know that they could have taken some hair or something a little less graphic? But no, Disney decided to go with something that was not nice. Go figure.
Well, 626 starts hacking spit all over and guns shoot at the liquid. As it does this, 626 breaks out of his bonds and snatches up some of the pieces of wall that were blown off. He uses these pieces to block shots from the huge guns. Can you say STUPID plot hole? Hello!?! What were they thinking??? That metal would NOT help 626 at all! They just showed those guns blowing right through that....but 626 must be like Superman and somehow transfers invulnerability to the metal like Superman does to his clothes. Argh!
Of course, 626 escapes in a ship he doesn't know how to fly, but being bred as a genius and as a destructive "machine," I suppose this all makes sense. Anyway, 626 lands on earth on an island (on the way there, we learn that 626 is too dense to be able to swim, thus he hates water). He gets run over by a truck soon after.
Meanwhile, we learn about a dysfunctional family that contains two sisters. One looks about 6 and the other must be 18-21. The 6-year-old is named Lilo (Daveigh Chase) and is a major pest. She gets into fights, doesn't listen to her sister, and she practices Voodoo. Her sister, Nani (Tia Carrere), is trying to raise Lilo since her parents died in a car crash. That particular day is when a Social Services representative is to arrive and see what's up with the family. Of course, Lilo has locked her sister out and nailed the door shut. So Mr. Bubbles (Ving Rhames), the Social Worker shows up and sees Nani with her head stuck in a dog door shouting at her sister while pulling out nails.
Soon after some sisterly screaming, Nani decides that Lilo deserves a pet. I guess acting like a brat can pay off. They go off to a pet shelter where Lilo picks a "dog" that's been run over by a truck. Yes, you got it! 626! Lilo names him Stitch and the movie moves right along.
Stitch ends up biting Dr. Jumba's stupid partner at Nani's place of work, which is a luau joint. (To explain this, the Councilwoman sent Dr. Jumba and an "Earth expert" down to our planet to capture Stitch, since he's a dangerous menace!) Okay. On with the next dumb stuff.
Nani goes looking for work with her sister and her pup. Lilo teaches Stitch some dance moves and the guitar on the way. Stitch keeps scaring customers, so Nani can't get a job. I think this is supposed to be a series of running Elvis gags, but it's not very funny.
Next is a scary sequence in the water! Nani's beau takes them all surfing. Stitch ends up seeing what a family is all about and gets rather melancholy about it. So, he gets them to take him out on the water one more time and somehow the "baddies" manage to nab Stitch right off the surf board. Will he drown!? Duh! Of course not!
Since they fall off the board, Mr. Bubbles steps in and tell Nani that Lilo must be taken away as she's a lousy mother. Then Nani's beau blames Stitch for all their current problems. Typical humans not taking responsibility for their actions.
Dr. Jumba ends up getting fired the very next day, so he goes after Stitch "his way." Before, he couldn't show himself. So his way is to just run around trying to capture Stitch no matter what. Why does he care if he's fired? Who knows!?
Anyway, he fails, but Jumba does manage to blow up Nani's house. Then Lilo runs away and gets captured along with Stitch by Gantu. Getting confused? Good! This is where some of the dumb stuff starts happening! Stitch manages to escape by defying all the laws of Physics (look under DUMB STUFF below for more info) and falls to the island. There he gets a smacking from Nani.
Stitch gets grabbed by Jumba and they sit down with their backs to Nani...why don't they (they being Jumba and the idiot partner) go to their ship? Who knows!? Nani wants to know where Lilo is and asks the aliens. Stitch asks Jumba to rescue her and after ranting about why he (Jumba) should help, he says that he will! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?! Jumba acts like he hates 626/Stitch throughout a lot of the movie and now he's going to help Stitch!? ARRRRGGGGHHH!!! Nonsensical writing!!!!
Well, we all know what happens next. They rescue Lilo by blowing up a fuel truck (see DUMB STUFF). Then they land and Stitch is recaptured by the Grand Councilwoman. Why is she here? How did she know that Capt. Gantu is an idiot!? What the!? Well, as if that wasn't enough, Stitch asks to say goodbye to his family and Jumba wants to know if Stitch can stay with them.
So, with a little lame wishy-washy garbage, Stitch is allowed to stay. Now, why does this happen? Stitch is supposed to be a monster of mass destruction! Why would someone who knows nothing about the creature just take him at his word!? Especially when she planned on killing it earlier in the movie?
Onward! It is not good to ponder such things!
The Good Stuff:
 | Family is shown as the top priority. |
| There are some comedic moments. |
| It's got aliens! |
| No swearing. |
The Bad Stuff:
| Watching a hero of the show getting run over is not pleasant. |
| The needle thing. |
| Watching Lilo lay the smack down on her "friends". |
| Voodoo. |
The Dumb Stuff:
| A huge alien named Capt. Gantu (Kevin Michael) hides behind a bush or tree and no one sees him. Umm, the guy is at 18 feet high and probably as wide. A bush is not going to hide him... |
| The aliens' ships are also hidden in vegetation...this is particularly stupid when you consider that one of the ships in question is bigger then a mansion. |
| 626 AKA Stitch is supposed to be a genius. So, why does it take him so long to learn anything on earth? He can't tell that a children's ride is not a spaceship. But he can escape on a real one? I think not. |
| When Stitch is captured by Gantu, he somehow is endowed with the ability to go right through the glass (or whatever material it is) and escape. What the? Can he turn himself momentarily into quarks and thus slip between the molecules of his container? Why did he break out of his bonds then? Why bother opening doors? |
| Why does Nani never wear normal clothes? The entire movie has her running around in various revealing outfits, all of which show her mid-riff. No wonder Mr. Bubbles is concerned about Lilo! |
| Oh, and why is everyone on the island so stupid? They all think Stitch is a dog, even though he talks, walks on hind legs and plays the guitar? (Speaking of which, watch for the scene in which playing a guitar wrong will make all the glass in the vicinity break...duh!!!) |
| Also keep an eye out for the idiotic scene with the gas truck. It goes into a volcano and the lava doesn't melt it or damage it... |
| By the way...you will learn that Mr. Bubbles is a former CIA agent (or something) that's dealt with aliens before...so, why didn't he know that Stitch was an alien?! Is this some kind of commentary on the stupidity of our country's security/intelligence? |
This movie has some good stuff in it. It's an enjoyable show. However, as I've pointed out, it's got a lot of problems too. It seems the writer's were always writing themselves into a corner and then digging themselves out again by giving Stitch new abilities...like that little go-through-glass thing. But the show itself is free of swearing. So, it DOES have some redeeming value.
STORY: 
(phtttt!)
VIOLENCE:
(The smacking done by Lilo...and the alien stuff at the end...)
SEXUAL CONTENT:
(Nani! Need I say more?)
SFX:
LANGUAGE:
N/AOVERALL SCORE:
(What did you expect? It gets an average score for all that hoopla!)