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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

    Release Date: 1991

     Running Time: 88 min

     Rated: PG

     Cast: Paige Turco, David Warner and four wise-guy turtles

  This film has the feel of a made-for-TV special. Really, I’m still impressed to this day that it made it as far as the theatre screens. As with many kiddie films that become “blockbusters”, whatever that really means, the original TMNT movie was destined to have a sequel. This is probably the worst sequel that could have been made for the franchise (actually the SECOND sequel is the worst), but such as it is, it’s there forever and must be considered the next installment of the series, and I must review.

    A month or so after the original TMNT flick, the Turtles are living with reporter April O’Neil, now played by Paige Turco, who though cuter than Judith Hoag is not as good of an actress. Oh well. They are seeking a new residency, since the Foot clan knows where they live and they don’t exactly want their shells kicked in by the blood-thirsty ninjas. What they don’t know is that the Shredder survived his little fall from the last film and has sworn ultimate revenge on the greenbacks.

   To this end, the evil Saki kidnaps Professor Jordan Perry, the scientist behind the creation of the ooze that mutated the Turtles in the first place. Perry is played by one of my favorite character actors of all time, David Warner, and though this movie seems a little below him he does bring a good presence to an otherwise silly movie, and even he is a bit funny at times. 

  So with the ooze in his possession, the Shredder mutates two beasts, Tokka and Rahzar, a snapping turtle and a wolf and plans for the ultimate showdown to show the Turtles who’s boss. The only setback is that, unknown to the Shredder, Perry has contaminated the ooze to basically make Tokka and Rahzar idiots. This doesn’t make them any less powerful though, and in their first encounter the TMNT get their shells whomped. With the Professor’s help they try to find a way to stop the mutants, and put an end to the terror of the Shredder.

   The mood of this film is noticeably lighter than the first, and while some might say that’s good I say it detracts from the quality of the movie. It’s too immature. Ok, you say, “But it’s a kids movie!” I say, the TMNT were created to be darker, and making them too childish ruins their appeal. This plays out like a bad episode of the Power Rangers, with men in rubber monster suits beating each other up in a bloodless fist fight until one side finally through brains or stupidity wins the day.

   The Shredder was much less threatening in this film, and without a threatening villain what’s the point of having him? Oh, sure, Raphael gets captured and there’s a cool scene where the Shredder gets himself oozed, but that was probably what makes this the dumbest thing of the plot (such as it is). The Shredder seems to have lost a lot of brain cells in that fall of his, because in this whole film he’s gone from being the dark, menacing and cunning Darth-Vader-like ninja clan leader to being a vengeance-driven imbecile who ends up killing himself when he tries to kill the Boys. I mean, he wrecks some docks to bring them down on the Turtles, which is stupid because the Turtles show how easy it is for them to escape to the water and Shredder just stands there and lets himself get crushed to death. Dumb, a totally inglorious end to the Shred-Head. They should have just left him dead at the end of the last one.

  The special effects and action were no less good than in the first, but the film still suffers from being a weak, barely passable sequel to what I think was a very good first film.  Of course this movie came out only a year after the first, which just makes one groan because this means the filmmakers preferred to try and capture the popularity of the first to drive the success of this film, which of course means quality was thrown aside.

  I don’t mean to sound so disparaging.  This is a fun film in it’s own brainless, childish way.  But it’s a disappointment to the Nth degree for TMNT fans who expected something a little better in storytelling and paying honor to our lean, green heroes.  Where this film does succeed, one might rightly say, is that unlike the first film this movie has no language and very little violence beyond goofy punching and kicking.

  I’d say the best elements to the film are learning the history of the turtles in greater detail, some of the funnier interplay between the boys, and of course who can forget the infamous Vanilla Ice cameo! HAHAHAHA!  It’s truly hilarious, and thank God I wasn’t paying attention to him when he was famous!  I would have laughed myself silly if I’d seen this in the theater.

  If you consider yourself a die-hard TMNT fanatic and Michelangelo dressed as Barney would still please you, see this film and enjoy.  You may be upset that Casey Jones is replaced by a lousy kid martial arts expert named Kino, but then again this means no smoochies with Jones and April.  If you want a little more dignity in your TMNT cinema, you may cringe at this title.  It’s kind of a tough call, and believe me, even I’m still torn over how much of this film I like as opposed to what I don’t.  It just feels like a wasted opportunity.

  But on one final note, this movie could NEVER be as bad as the third and thank God FINAL TMNT movie…