The biggest children’s fad of the 80’s finally received its theatrical treatment with this film; some say that’s wonderful, others would roll their eyes and wonder what movies were coming to. Being a former and current TMNT fan, and with the release of the new Fox TMNT cartoon series, I feel it is time to review these flicks of the Green Ninja Machine.

First of all, having read the original TMNT comic book and having religiously watched the 80’s show as a mere child I can tell you that this film was loyal to great degrees to the storyline, characters, and feel of the Turtles. Of course if the comic book had been literally adapted this movie would have been rated R what with all of the violence, so this film opted (rightly so) for the more Saturday morning cartoon appeal. No serious violence aside from kicking around and weapon-play of various sorts, but it’s nothing that a hyperactive little boy who kicks his siblings or destroys household items wouldn’t get from Power Rangers anyway.

Now, on to the story. It seems that old NYC (the favorite city in the world it seems for bad things to happen in) is being plagued by a "Silent Crime Wave". This is so called because most of the people being robbed don’t even realize it until it’s too late. A certain reporter named April O’Neil believes from interviewing Japanese Americans that it is a group of Ninja thief clan members who used to operate in Tokyo, but have now brought their business to the States. The police chief won’t believe her, but she gets her proof when she herself is attacked by a group of the thugs.

She is miraculously saved last second however by some mysterious vigilantes, and one of them accidentally leaves behind a sai blade. April sticks it in her purse (isn’t that taking evidence from the scene of a crime?) and apparently keeps it in there at all times as far as you can tell from later in the movie.

Well now, who are these mysterious rescuers? Why, a group of four and a half foot tall bipedal anthropomorphic turtles! Yes, they talk, they fight, they’re built like Muscle and Fitness magazine models, and they love pizza, meaning that to my knowledge they’re the only turtles that enjoy pig and cow meat. Ew. They have color coded bandanas, which raises another question of turtles being color blind, and talk like surfers even though they live in the middle of NYC and were raised by a mutant rat. Odd, very odd, but very funny none the less. In a bit of a throwback to the old monster movie classics and just about every super hero in the Marvel lineup these turtles were exposed to a radioactive glop as babies, along with their Sensei Splinter, and thus became the intelligent (?) creatures they are today. Leonardo is the dashing and spiritual leader of the team, Donatello is the brains and the thrashing skater, Raphael is the hot tempered loner and Michaelangelois the immature clown. 

Anyway, as April continues her crusade to uncover the Foot she does not realize that she is being watched by their leader, the evil master Shredder. He sends some of his men after her to shut her big reporter’s mouth, and she whips out her sai blade and dices them all into salami! No, actually she gets it kicked out of her hand like the inexperienced wuss that she is and has to get saved by Raphael, who has also been following her since he’s rather P.Od about losing that weapon. So he brings the unconscious April to their sewer lair, and history is made. What Raph does not know is that he has been followed by one of the Foot, and this will eventually lead to their home being invaded by the Foot clan who will abduct their sensei.

I had never seen this film when I was a fan in the old days, but after about ten years from its initial release it still blew me away. Okay, so the special effects are pretty weak compared to most films of that time, but the story was fun for what it was, and the characters really did work well. Jim Henson’s workshop did a very good job on the costumes, even though the lip-synch for the turtle masks were pretty rough most of the time. The Shredder was WAY cooler in the film than in the old cartoon, and thank God he didn’t have those idiots Bebop and Rocksteady tailing him everywhere he went.

There were some interesting twists in the story, such as Casey Jones falling in love with April (something I could have done without…he and she don’t work well together in my personal opinion. ) they kept Splinter a rat who turned into a bigger rat instead of a human who transformed, which was different from the show but true to the comic, and him being captured by the Shred-Head made the story more dramatic for the heroes. The movie is not traditional kiddie stuff, though. The atmosphere is very dark, which links it better with the sort of ninja/martial arts films that it is related to. There are one or two suggestive scenes with Casey and April as their relationship deepens, and there is actually quite a bit of swearing. That was the worst of it for me personally, even more so than some of the Buddhist spiritual mumbo jumbo that they threw in. Anything Asian, or especially Jim Henson that doesn’t involve Kermit the Frog, I expect to have some meaningless non-Christian ideology. 

This is certainly not the outstanding blockbuster of the 90s, even for the younger crowd it was aimed at, but it is a fun, fun film, and for TMNT fans a really enjoyable staple in the franchise. Just close your ears when the terribly outdated MC Hammer music starts up.