Planet of the Apes
AKA: Monkey Planet
Released: 1968
Version: Video
Length: Approx. 112 min.
Rated: PG or G (don't know how it got that one!)
Main Cast: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, James Whitmore, Linda Harrison (I), Woodrow Parfrey, Buck Kartalian
I finally saw this movie a few days ago and I was not impressed. There was quite build up for it before the movie started because this was it's 20th anniversary. So the original trailer was on it as well as a few ads about the flick. It looked kind of interesting.
To begin, we see a sequence in which we hear Col. George Taylor (Charleton Heston) narrate into his computer's log. We find out they've been in space for 6 months and that that is about 700 years of earth time. This all goes on in a really fake looking cockpit with some lousy star effects that can be seen through the window. Then he joins the rest of the crew in going into some cryogenic deep sleep for the rest of their trip. Maybe he was saying that they'd be in space for 6 months in sleep? I don't know. The time stuff in the movie was vague and confusing.
The landing scenes are pathetic random shots with a shaky camera of various topographical details. We spin! We dip! We crash. Phew! If I didn't know better, I'd say the landing and escape into the lake in which they'd crashed was lifted from the truly awful Planet of the Dinosaurs movie. They escape, minus one ship mate that died. She got old somehow after her cryogenics pod got a leak...
Watch for Taylor's maniacal and completely unneeded laugh. He does it soon after landing. It's bizarre and yet, kind of funny. After much wandering about trying to find food, reminiscent of One Million Years B.C. they find some 'cave people' eating food. Oh, and we mustn't forget the scarecrows: some odd looking stuffed X's on a hilltop. Soon, the three survivors from the ship are with the other people and they hear something. It's apes on horseback! The people stampede!!! Shooting ensues. Taylor is separated from his shipmates and one of them dies. Taylor is shot in the neck and gets captured.
The following scenes are rather disturbing. Lots of dead people. Apes getting their pictures taken over their human trophies. (That was kind of funny, actually...)
Soon Taylor is in a cage and a female is shoved in with him in hopes that they'll mate. They are studied by a female ape psychologist named Zira (Kim Hunter). There are plenty of dumb scenes in which Taylor tries to communicate unsuccessfully. When he finally does, we learn how un-advanced the apes are. No ideas about flight or spaceflight or whatever. And yet, it seems that they're evolved from us. Of course, some of the don't believe that. It's confusing and stupid. Whether or not they are evolved from mankind, it's stupid that man's culture has went back to the dark ages. They can't talk. They're just dumb beasts. Dumber then apes of today.
Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans) knows about man and for some reason covers up all that knowledge. Taylor manages to get himself in front of a council of apes that want him dead. Zira likes him and has her nephew free him. They all run off to the Forbidden Zone (Zira and her fiancé Dr. Cornelius (Roddy McDowall) are charged with heresy, which is a 2 year imprisonment...if proven) and find some artifacts. Dr. Zaius chases them there with guards and there's a couple of stupid sequences of double-crosses.
Finally, Taylor and his girl, Nova (Linda Harrison), are released. They wander off and find a broken Statue of Liberty. Their ape friends are taken back to serve time. Happy days!
The Good Stuff:
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A few funny lines from Taylor... |
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Heston and his overacting |
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Some interesting looks at life from the opposite world. The apes! |
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Some truly funny ape kissing... |
The Bad Stuff:
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They swore something like 12 times! |
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There were plenty of naked butts shots in the movie...yuck-o! |
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Ape kissing man...ugh... |
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Violence and lots of it! |
Well, I wasn't impressed much with this movie. It's supposed to be a classic, but I thought it was pretty lame. Not recommended.
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